Treats, Not Tricks

It’s because I’m a firm believer of candy on Halloween, treats instead of tricks, that I have decided to share with you some tasty morsels.  Ok, so technically it’s now November 1st, but I haven’t gone to bed yet, so it still feels like the 31st to me.

Self-Portrait 2002

And so without further or due, I give you 10 Sexy Truths About Me.  They are in no particular order.

1) I have had sex in an apartment building hallway up near West 76th St. in Manhattan, a movie theater bathroom, a taxi cab, and my partner’s father’s bed.  All in the same night.

2) I LOVE giving head.  It is without a doubt as much a pleasure for me, as it is for you. This, I can assure you.  I have literally come inches away from having an orgasm just by going down on a lover, without them touching me.

3) The sight of my lover’s erection straining against his pants is intoxicatingly arousing for me.

4) I once gave a hand job to my boyfriend while we ordered dessert in a French restaurant in the Napa Valley.  It was mid-afternoon, and the quaint, but busy establishment was filled with people in business attire dining for lunch.  We were in travel clothing, and had stopped to have some lunch as we were heading to our destination.  I enjoyed having a conversation with our waiter, straight-faced, all the while all three of us knew what I was doing.  This remains said now ex-boyfriends favorite memories.

5) I have had sex with men, women, and men dressed like women.  I admit now to being 99.9% straight because I find nothing gives me that electric charge sexually like men.  I am all about the cock.  There, I said it.  Kinsey would agree that this is 100% normal for two such beliefs to occur in one body, simultaneously.

6) I had sex next to a roaring campfire in the woods.  To our knowledge, everyone we were camping with had gone off to bed.  Surprise, not everyone had!

7) I am incredibly vocal in bed, and enjoy it when my lover is also comfortable vocalizing their pleasure.  I love hearing moans, sighs, tremulous breathing, and the loss of control in their voice as I push them over the edge of their peak.

8)  I once tented out in a friend’s backyard, and apparently disturbed his neighbor so much with my orgasmic vocalization during sexy time, that the guy was out at 7am on a Saturday morning using a chainsaw to do yard work, as a way of showing his annoyance.  This is still a story that is shared to this day.

9)  Kissing is my absolute favorite thing to do.  If I don’t like the way you kiss me, we will never fuck.  I could spend an entire night just kissing someone, and swimming in that slow, deep, cresting rise in anticipation of more.  I am so orally connected in my eros that sometimes when I masturbate, I move my lips as if I was kissing someone, imagine their kiss, and instantly can see a rise in my sexual response.

10) I had an orgasm in my sleep last weekend that was so strong it woke me right up!

P.S. Enjoy the self-portrait…wax play is fun.  You should try it sometime!



  1. Jaded Joe · November 1, 2012

    Wow, you’re totally my kind of woman. 😉 Thanks for the treat, maybe I’ll do the same today.

  2. Pingback: Oh You Pretty Things… | My Jaded Parts

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