Musings Of A Gun Shy Heart

In follow-up to my latest post “Reminders of An August Afternoon“, I sat down tonight to watch Take This Waltz, and was left with the following questions chasing each other around in my mind:  In no particular order…

Do I choose people who I know will leave me?

Do I choose people I know I will eventually leave?

Is every relationship, no matter how filled with fireworks and rainbows in the beginning, doomed to fall into the familiar slumber of boredom, leaving us/me/them to feel like something is missing?brokenheart

Is having multiple lovers really the answer to this, or the cause of more of these feelings of something missing?

What kind of relationships will my daughter have as she begins to grow up and out into the world?

What does lasting love look like?

Have I set a bad example for my daughter in that I have yet to find someone with whom I can find and sustain a loving partnership with?

Things I know about what I want for myself

I really don’t want to share or be shared

I don’t want to be with someone controlling

I don’t want a relationship without passion

I need intimacy and emotional connection

I enjoy sex often

The more I love someone, the more sexual I want to be with them

Physical affection is important to me

Intelligence turns me on and its important to me  (it’s always the first or second thing I say when I am asked to tell someone why/how I find someone attractive)

I like someone who can walk in both worlds; someone who likes the finer things in life, but also is down to earth

I want a man who is a man, and not a boy living in the body of a 40-year-old.  I do not want to be a grown man’s mother.

Honesty and integrity are valued highly by me, and I need them from anyone who would be a potential long-term partner.  I give it and expect to receive it.

My health is very important to me.  I want someone who values their physical health and their emotional one

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  If you think it’s good for you, and only you, and expect something different for me, you are sadly mistaken.

Does any of this even exist?



  1. Daniel de Culla · January 21, 2013

    Lovely¡ as ever.

  2. charmedbylove · January 21, 2013

    it does, not all comes in one package though. the sad thing is, many guys are under the influence of materialism now so the above characteristics really are a rare breed

    • erogenoUSblog · January 21, 2013

      I think you are so correct, CHB, but it’s not only men who are under this influence, it’s women too. I also believe that the “instant gratification” that technology has brought us has ruined us for having patience and desire for causes that take effort and persistence.

  3. Chin Up, Chest High! · January 21, 2013

    The perfect man, like the perfect woman, does not exist. All we can do is find somebody whose faults we find endearing or at least, worth fighting for.

    • erogenoUSblog · January 21, 2013

      I’m not looking for perfect, as I have found even perfection has it’s flaws.

  4. Liz · January 21, 2013

    Know that it is possible to find what you need but it does require some willingness to compromise some. I have a long term committed relationship with two men one for 10 years one for 14. I love them both very much. They are intelligent and caring, patient, and honest. I needed more than one not everyone does. Don’t give up what you need is out there.

    • erogenoUSblog · January 21, 2013

      Thanks, Liz! I am open to being surprised by the universe that what I want, with some compromise, exists for me within it.

  5. Soup Bob · January 26, 2013

    What is love? Covering someone every summer with sunblock so they don’t burn…

  6. Pingback: A Year Without Sex In My City | erogenoUS

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