It Had To Be You. No, Seriously!

No, I was not being held captive for the past 4 months in a cave somewhere, or abducted by aliens to a distant planet where anal probing was actually a BAD thing.  No, I was just silenced by my own self doubt.  Self-doubt that crept in after I was told that I was going about getting my writing out there in all the wrong ways, and in short “all the wrong ways” really translated into, “you’ll never be successful doing things the way you’re doing them” and “you’re going about it all wrong”.

I don’t have a degree in writing,  I have a degree in art.  Yet, during my college art education and even beyond, I have been told by professors, friends, and strangers, “You should be a writer”.  The first time I was told that was by my freshmen writing instructor Loraine O’Grady.  She said, “You know, you should really be a writer”, and I was just so insulted.  I was like, “I’m an artist, not a writer.”  I’m not sure why I was insulted, but I was only 17 and still in that, “You can’t tell me what to do” phase.  Artists, rebels; one in the same.

Right now, I am making a long story, longer, so I am going to dial it back and in the words of Inigo Montoya, “Let me e’splain…no, let me sum up.”

I let my blog slide and essentially stopped blogging regularly altogether back in March when I allowed someone else’s pessimism about my choice of writing venue affect how I felt about my writing, and by hat I mean why I created erogenoUS in the first place, and not the actual quality of the writing.

I created erogenoUS when I decided that I was tired of waiting for someone else to give me an opportunity.  Instead, I decided I was going to make my own!  I wanted to write, but most importantly, I  wanted to be read!  I wanted to get my work out there in the quickest way I knew how: social media.  And, the essential ingredient, the intrinsic drive that birthed this blog was that I wanted to write about what I love: sexuality and my personal experience with it in a way that other people could relate to, and in some way hopefully feel less alone in their own experiences of how they view and experience that sexuality.  This is why the “US” in erogenoUS is capitalized, because while these are my personal, true life, experiences, I feel a lot of these core issues are universally relatable on some level, regardless of all the various categories that the world uses to box us into.

At least that is my hope.  Think of me as the beacon in the interwebs calling out to you, “You are not alone!”  erogenoUS is ALL of “US”

But, I allowed  a voice (that was well-meaning at the time) to shake my tree enough to fill me with uncertainty and fear.  I questioned if what I was doing really had any impact, or if it was just a waste of good data storage.shhhhhh

I went silent.

You didn’t!

You started following me on Twitter, “liked” me on Facebook, you read my posts even when it looked like I had abandoned ship.  You, my readers and fans, kept showing me support!  I was wondering how there was still momentum in silence.

And I know I owe that to the following seriously sexy bloggers:

  • Lady Cheeky, who tweeted me as a fave sex blogger every Friday even when I was total AWOL.  Thank you for all of your support of me and my blog, and for not forgetting me even when I was abandoning myself.
  • The Redhead Bedhead for all the re-tweets and for the amazing writing you are doing, your Super Hero Sex Shop Tour, and your commitment to sex geekery at it’s finest!

I want to send out a big THANK YOU to Venice and Ryan @ for making me #9 on your “Quarter 2 2013 Top Ten Sex Blogs”!  Your  review of erogenoUS made my heart jump with happy, and reminded me of just why I write here!  It was the final nudge from the universe that I needed to know my original direction was where I still needed to be embarking on.  You guys ROCK!

noshhSo, ladies and gents, I’m back and here to stay!!!

However right now, I need to go get some much-needed sleep.












  1. Venice Bloggs · July 9, 2013

    This really made me smile to read this. Finding and reviewing sex blogs out there is an exciting time for me because not only does it expose me to great blogs, but I can also share these wonderful blogs for others to enjoy. We’re all write and share our ideas, and it helps to know others have taken the time to read. “Follow Fridays” have revealed many fabulous blogs that I might not have otherwise found, therefore I must also thank Ms. Lady Cheeky! I admit to feeling that my writing was done in vain, but I quickly remind myself that to continue for the simple joy of writing, because it keeps my mind naughty, and to persevere. I’m so very glad to know you’re back with a vengeance. On behalf of myself and your readers: can’t wait for more!

    • erogenoUSblog · July 10, 2013

      “Keeps my mind naughty” – LOVE it! The creative outlet of writing releases the tensions of the daily doldrums of the hustle and grind for me. Wow, now that I put it that way the daily usual doesn’t sound so bad! ;). It keeps my mind actively seeking new anf juicy thoughts, and in that, I get to continually question my experience of the world. And Venice, now I totally want to be someone to be “filling my mood bar”! You rock! Thanks again, saucy lady!

  2. The Redhead Bedhead · July 9, 2013

    Welcome back, love! I missed you and I know I’m far from the only one. We all have crises of confidence, just remember you can always lean on your fellow sexy writers for some support. We’ve got your back.
    Lots of love ♥♥♥

    • erogenoUSblog · July 10, 2013

      Thanks, babe! It’s good to be back! And thanks for being a lighthouse of sexy blogging on the jagged shore of self-doubt. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who wavers in my confidence with writing, or that ever-popular head spinner, “What am I doing with my life?!?!” ❤

      • Robert Bilicki · July 10, 2013

        I have know you for a very long time and I have always admired you. I just wish your were coming to BW this July. I will miss you.
        Hugs and Kisses,

        Soup Bob.

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